Just stop. Stop playing games. Stop playing mind games. Stop playing negative games with yourself. It's unhealthy and destructive. These games I'm talking about are the victim/blame game, comparison game, and would've should've could've game. Why do we do this to ourselves? It brings nothing but negative feelings, and honestly, doesn't do anything to bring up our well being.
Example, when I was younger, I would go on to social media and check out other women's pictures. I would start thinking about how fun her life looked, or how beautiful her features were. Then I would start imagining how much better her life was than mine because she got to travel around the world, or how people admired her so much because of her perfect size nose and how mine compared to hers looked like a mushroom. Whatever the fuck it was, I compared my beauty both in life and body to someone else's and always fell short. It was destructive behavior. I once read a statement that said something like just appreciate the beauty in someone without comparing your own and leave it at that. No comparisons. Nothing. It's as simple as that (we tend to do that often, make things more complicated than it needs to be). Just appreciate the beauty in which you see. Makes sense to me now but before not so much. Every time I saw something in others that was beautiful, I always seemed to automatically compare myself to that person. Maybe because I wanted it too and didn't realize I already had it. Here's something else I have to say. We are all beautiful in our own way. Yes, cliche but it's true. I've learned how to understand this. My life is perfect for me and theirs for them. We are all beautiful in such a unique and inspiring way. So take the time to realize your worth, please.
Another game I loved playing when I was younger was the blame game. Oh I was so good at it. It kind of blends in with the victim game. I used to blame others for my emotions, for my feelings. I didn't understand the power of being the owner of my feelings. Last night, I was talking to my girls about how we need to be accountable of our feelings. If we're sad or depressed instead of blaming someone for it, we need to figure out how to face this certain emotion and handle it constructively. I was trying to talk to them about accountability. It all comes down to building a strong foundation within self and being completely honest with ourselves. Some people self medicate (with drugs and alcohol) when they're upset...not taking responsibility and facing what scares them, negative emotions. They would rather suppress their feelings which has been triggered by someone or something. It's also easier to blame others for why they're not moving forward in life. But in all honesty, you're not moving forward because you don't want to face what ever fears it is you hold inside. No one wants to admit their fear because it makes them sound like a little pussy or so they think. Be brave and face your fear. Don't ever let anyone turn you into a victim and allow them to dictate your actions in life. So many times, I've heard people say something like, I'm scared of...commitment because I've been hurt too many times. Well, I'm sorry that is just not right. You are giving that other person (this could be a lover, parent, sibling, friend, etc) control, and they now have control over your life without even knowing it. This is wrong and stop blaming them. You have ALL the control over your life whether its good or bad. It has always been your choice. But I guess it's easier to shift that responsibility onto someone else rather than dealing with it. You see where I'm going with this?
And last but not least, the would've should've could've game. How many times have we sat there and contemplated on doing something verses just doing it. Again, last night my kids and I were talking about the gym. We said that once you start thinking about whether or not you should go to the gym, most likely the answer will be no. Because you spend so much time just thinking about all the things that needs to be done before you go it just discourages you. But if you were just to go, you'd be less likely not to over think and discourage yourself out of it. Well the would've should've could've game is similar. We tend to over think about the things we have to work at to achieve. For instance, if we wanted to start a business, we think about all the pitfalls and reasons it wouldn't work. We excuse this thought process with being smart, cautious, and thinking "constructively". Yes, I get it. But sometimes we think about all the negatives before we even start which makes us not want to start at all. If we actually started and received constructive failures during the process, we have learned something in exchange. So it's not like your efforts were all in vain. It's more of a destructive failure if you're sitting on your couch thinking about all the would've should've could've moments in your life. And if you're waiting on the right moment to do something constructive, there is no perfect time except for the time you take action despite all the obstacles against you. Embrace the discomfort and just do it.
The only games you should play are either card games, board games, or games which enhance your life and well-being. Not bullshit that drains your energy and depletes you of your self-worth. You are a strong person but only you can flex that and build that strength within you. Work on it and each day you will get stronger, I promise. Especially to all my women, we are such strong creatures...we were built this way naturally. And to all my fellow moms out there, like I tell all my friends with kids, we are natural born hustlers. So fuck fear and just do you. If you fall, have faith the universe will catch you. Build yourself, grow yourself, and love yourself unconditionally.
A little about me...
I'm learning how to look at everything with love, even if it seems impossible, like rush hour traffic. I want to share my journey of self-love so that others may want to emulate and pass it on into the universe. Ohh...and sometimes people call me Suzie.