Last time I wrote about how I was supposed to meet a guy I'm dating in New York. Well, it looks like our plans aren't going to work out. In fact, it doesn't look like we'll be keeping in touch for that much longer, based on the conversation he had with me. Which is a shame since I really liked him but I have to understand and do understand I cannot force someone to feel something that's not there for them. I am upset by the situation because I do have strong feelings for him but I have to remind myself, based on my history, that things will continue to work out in my favor. If not with him, of course with someone else.
The first couple of days following our last conversation was not pleasant. I couldn't sleep well and just was really sad about the whole thing. I kept replaying the events that led up to that unexpected unpleasant conversation and analyzed what went wrong or searched for hidden messages. Due to my lack of sleep, I was overly sensitive, which I had to remind myself of. I knew that the outcome was not what I wanted. So I allowed myself some time to just be sad, and eventually, I knew I had to talk my way out of it soon, and that is what I did. I gave myself the adequate amount of sleep I needed after those two days, regrouped myself and my thoughts and started confirming that everything will be fine and work out in my favor even if without him.
There are times in our lives when we really want something and when it doesn't work out for us the way we pictured, it can be quite devastating. When this happens, your allowed to feel the hurt, sadness, and/or disappointment. Don't short yourself of those feelings. However, you must do it in healthy amounts. When you start letting those feelings overrule your behavior and decisions, you need to take back your control. Don't allow your feelings to control you. You must control your feelings.
When I acknowledge the feelings I'm going through, I tell myself, it's okay to feel them but I must make sure it can only be for a short while. Then I must start looking at the blessings I currently have. I make myself, force myself to look at the bright side of things. When you're in a shitty mood, it's so easy to say fuck everything and overlook all of the abundance in our lives. Fine, do that but only do it for a short while and take care of yourself after. Don't dwell too long and live in that victim mentality. Life is all about balance and to have a healthy mind, we have to be our own cheerleader/best-friend. I cannot stress this enough. Finding another man or drinking it up can only help you temporarily but when you build that healthy foundation within yourself it will be permanent. Validation and happiness should come internally not externally. Realize you are worth every effort, patience, and love you give yourself. Don't just be nice to yourself, be kind to yourself.
A little about me...
I'm learning how to look at everything with love, even if it seems impossible, like rush hour traffic. I want to share my journey of self-love so that others may want to emulate and pass it on into the universe. Ohh...and sometimes people call me Suzie.